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Embracing the Quiet: A Poem on Empty Nesting

Roses are red, the house feels so bare, violets are blue, now there’s quiet in the air.   Our kids have flown, like birds to the sky, an empty nest is left, where time likes to fly.   The fridge is less crowded, our table set for two, dinners are quieter, just me and you.   Our worries have changed, the shadows sleep, silence now echoes, and nostalgia creeps.   Love lingers here, a canvas to paint, colors aplenty, free from restraint.   The nest may be bare, yet a new chapter starts, hand in hand we’ll plot, to deepen our hearts.   Roses are red, you’re my best friend, violets are blue, I deeply love you.

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Decaf is Not for Wimps

For years, I’ve been a serious coffee drinker. A pot in the morning. Two to six cups during the day, and then most likely two or so warm, delicious cups in the evening. Maybe dunking a cookie or two while I watched TV. Warm, black, dark, and rich, I never refused a cup—or a mug, or tiny demitasse. For years, I could drink a cup before bed and still fall asleep within two minutes of my head hitting the pillow. People would tease me about mainlining the stuff. My Facebook page was littered with coffee addiction memes from friends. Coffee was my drug of choice. Then I began to notice changes. I moved through my day tired, sluggish, zombie-like with one exception, I was tense. I was cranky. My body hurt. One specific muscle in my shoulder would moan for attention. It bitched! My wonderful husband would massage the area just to get the noise to stop. So, I Googled, and I Googled. The suggestion I found over and over was to give up caffeine. WHAT?!! THE NECTAR OF THE GODS? I didn’t think I was that strong. But the articles I read made so many good arguments I had to acquiesce. I switched to decaf coffee two years ago. First, after the detox headaches subsided (blah), the muscle in my neck stopped hurting. Poof! Then I found my energy level sustained itself throughout the day. My two biggest problems gone, simply by ditching the caffeine in my coffee. I found my new favorite drink… a Decaf Americano. Rich, hot, and robust, my nose would bury itself in the smell, and my fingers closed around the cup, enjoying the warmth. I could do this! Then I started getting grief about drinking, God forbid, DECAF. It was as if I had lost my balls. All my street cred, GONE! One barista asked me if I got a placebo effect by drinking decaf. After explaining my muscle relief, he seemed disappointed, shrugging his shoulders and muttering, Whatever. More than one customer snickered at me as I stood in line waiting for my decaf liquid gold and asked, “What’s the point?” THE POINT IS… I NEED COFFEE! Coffee and I have a relationship. It is my Yin. I am its Yang. I need no cream… no sugar… just no caffeine. And if you have a problem with my drinking habit, I’ll meet you at the back table at my favorite Starbucks. Bring your best comments… I’ll be the one mainlining decaf espresso.

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When Your Beta Reader Ghosts You

You and I are sitting at a table at Starbucks, sipping our Cappuccinos—mine’s decaf, yours is full-leaded with one sugar, I’m setting the mood—when our mutual girlfriend bursts through the door, slides crying into a vacate chair at our table. “He” just broke up with her with the classic line, “It’s not you. It’s me.” You and I turn to each other, roll our eyes in disgust, and tell her he’s lying. Totally lying! We hug her and tell her how sorry we are she’s hurting—like good girlfriends do—then we remind her of all the tell-tale signs we’d been seeing all along… his lack of attention, his snide comments about what she was wearing, or her looks, or her attitude. In his not so subtle way, he had been critiquing her. She’d just failed to notice. Now let’s look at you and your beta reader. I’m assuming you have full vetted your reader… they read books, lots of books, they read your genre, they’ve read many books that are the same length as yours, and they’re not your mother. You give your beta reader your prized novel and begin your wait for their love and approval. But… they’ve bail on you. They “It’s not you” on you! Their life has gotten so busy. They have to finish the other novel first. They… they… they whatever, yet they haven’t read your novel! Did your beta reader fail you? Well, yes. BUT!!! You failed your beta reader. Your novel didn’t grab their attention or hold their attention enough for them to finish it… aka your novel sucked. Okay, maybe that’s harsh. But, you said you’d properly vetted your reader, right? And when you handed them your novel, you explained you needed them to read it—all of it—and give you feedback, right? Well, there’s your feedback! I have met writer after writer who complained about their beta readers. “They don’t finish the book.” “They said it was fine.” “They haven’t started reading it.” If I was whining about my beta readers and said any of the above statements, your first thought would be that they didn’t want to read it (maybe a bad blurb) or they started your book and is was bad (maybe bad writing, maybe bad grammar). So why are you not thinking this about your own book? Girlfriend, (read this with your best Valley Girl accent in your head) your book totally sucked! Maybe it semi-sucked… So, fix it! • Go back and re-read your own story. • Get yourself a new editor—or your flipping first editor. • Ask a fellow writer whom you respect and like their writing, to read the first 20 pages. Trust me, I can tell if I’m going to like a story in about 20 pages. Better yet, I can tell if the writing is good by reading 20 pages. • AND… most of all… listen and digest to what these people tell you! Now, get out there and write like the world loves you. With excellent developmental and line editing, they will!

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Choosing the Right Beta Reader: A Comprehensive Guide for Authors

Betty, your office coworker, and in her words an avid reader, has just found out your manuscript is done. She begs you to let her read it. She loves (insert your genre here) and has just finished reading (insert big name author’s book title in your genre – if fantasy insert ACOTAR). Bells go off in your head. You’ve been hoping to find a beta reader. This happenstance is pure luck! Or is it? A quick aside… we’re talking about a beta reader, not an ARC (Advance Release Copy). Beta readers read the manuscript before you send it to your editor. ARC readers read the finished book. There’s a big difference! Now, I’m assuming you’re completely ready to have a beta reader read your story. You have completed it. You’ve done HOURS of self-editing. You’ve gotten feedback from your critique group. You’ve used a program like Speechify to read the entire story to yourself aloud. You consider this draft’s the best you can personally make it. Are you still nodding your head yes? Good. Then let’s talk about what makes a good beta reader. First, your prospective beta reader needs to read, and by read, I mean a lot. Let’s throw out the number 36 for how many books a year they’ve read. That’s only 3 books a month. My thought process in giving you this number is that you want your beta reader to finish your book in a timely manner. If your beta reader only reads 3 books a year, what are the odds he/she is going to finish your story within your timeline? Second, you need to provide a due date for reading the story and returning comments. Your beta reader must be willing to read your story and return comments within a specific amount of time. I personally ask my beta readers to read my manuscript within one week for my children’s books and within 4 weeks for my adult fiction. I have goals on the number of books I want to publish in a year. So while one manuscript is being beta read, I’m writing the next one. Yet, I can’t let one project hang out there too long or my timetable for publishing and marketing gets wonky. You might have only this one story written, so you might feel you can be more generous with your timetable. But I’d remind you, you might have a lot of rewriting based on your beta’s feedback. You want to get the manuscript back with comments returned within a reasonable amount of time. Third, you want to instruct your beta reader on the what you’re looking for and the type of comments you need. Every author wants the reader to love the story. But I ask my beta reader to look for continuity issues, plausibility issues (i.e. does the story ask you to ignore known scientific facts, or does the reader have to accept conditions without explanation, etc.). Remember your beta reader is NOT meant to catch spelling, grammar, and punctuation mistakes. YEA, if they do, but that’s what your editor is for. A beta reader who reads the whole manuscript and then tells you they loved it, but can’t give any solid comments on why is lovely, but CRAP! That’s as if your mother read it and returned it with a gold star pasted on the upper right-hand corner just because she loves you. You need honest feedback. Example: “I loved Ben. He was so easy to love. But I can’t believe he put up with Sue for so long. It just didn’t seem right. And when they were having dinner in the restaurant, I felt it got laborious with all the food descriptions.” What do you get from this? Maybe you need a bit more backstory on Ben so the reader understands why he puts up with Sue. And cut back on the food descriptions to move the story faster in the restaurant scene. See how these comments help you pinpoint places in the manuscript you need to reread and maybe rework? Now, just because one beta reader offers comments like the above doesn’t mean you necessarily need a rewrite. But, if you get the same comments from multiple beta readers, it’s a safe bet you have some reworking to do. And this brings us to point number four. Have multiple beta readers. I think the last sentence says it all. A bad comment from one beta reader is understandable. The same bad comment from multiple beta readers means you have an issue with your story. Without reworking your story, you’re setting yourself up for one-star reviews. Five, your beta reader must read in your genre and should be part of your target audience. Can you imagine asking someone to read your horror story who doesn’t read that genre? “My word dearie, there’s so much blood!” These types of comments won’t help you polish up your manuscript. They’ll just be distracting and maybe dredge up some self-doubt you buried when you started writing this story. Once, I put a call out for beta readers for my children’s book, Where Bear? An author friend of mine offered to read the manuscript with his six-year-old—the perfect target audience for that book. My adult beta readers gave me a few suggestions. But, my friend’s son found the big glaring mistake. I wrote “tiger” in my story, but the illustration was of a lion. I can only imagine how many discussions that mistake would have caused at bedtime. But, yea for me. Having my target audience, children, as part of my beta reader group probably avoided what would have been an Amazon rating and comment nightmare. So, find avid readers that reads your genre… are your target audience… are willing to read and return comments within your timetable… hand them your manuscript and tell what feedback you’re looking for… and wait. Easy, peasy! And finally, I’m going to remind you that good beta readers are worth their weight in

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